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A Young Man Comes Out

© Dennis Cox

In Katrina Kittle’s moving novel, Traveling Light, Summer is a young woman confronted by a triple whammy of fate: her brother is rapidly dying of complications due to AIDS, an injury-caused loss of her career as a ballerina and her agonizing inability to commit to a relationship with the man she loves. Summer has embarked grudgingly upon her second choice as a career, teaching English to high schoolers. One of her more sensitive students, Zack, submits a gently homo-erotic love poem and pleads, “Please don’t make me read this aloud in class!”. She ends up giving Zack the quiet support he so sorely needs, and eventually introduces him to Todd, her ailing brother for more advice. Zack is pretty sure of his sexual orientation but how does a guy know he’s gay anyway? Could it be that peculiar swooning feeling when he watches Ricky Martin on TV or when he develops a crush on a fellow classmate or even an older man?

None of these wistful emotions is an accurate or a definitive indication of homosexuality. It is not unheard of for heterosexual young lads to find rock stars attractive; after all, John Lennon adored (and envied) Elvis because he had so many maidens screaming for his attention . When I was growing up, I could argue with my mind that I was NOT gay because all of my erotic activities were compartmentalized as dreams and fantasies. In some cases, “acting out” is not conclusive evidence that one is gay. In puberty, (usually between 11 and 15 years old) young men’s bodies start to change, hormones quicken and motivate, and sexual passions surge in diffuse waves. Curiosity leads to experimentation but not all boys who “experiment” with other boys are homosexual. In time, vague and restless yearnings come to be more focused; the homosexual realizes that his capricious sexual yearnings and corporal gropings are becoming ever more exclusively directed to the masculine gender. Now what? In today’s society, in which obscene jokes, rigid disapproval and negative stereotypes unfortunately still prevail, the gay adolescent needs to first educate himself about the history and psychology of homosexuality. Aside from the library, a web search under “coming out gay youth” will yield hundreds of resources, including literature, hotlines, counselors and support groups. And it doesn’t hurt to have a teacher like Summer to nurture you.

Achingly honest, Traveling Light is an education to us all in what courage an compassion we humans are capable of for our suffering “brothers” and “sisters”.