Fragile Friendships, Hard Questions

The hard question and theme of "The Language We Use Up Here and other stories", by Philip Gambone is, “What do you need from me?” Some of the protagonists in these subtly admonitory short stories are in long-term relationships, some short-term, and some just beginning the tentative first steps toward serious romance. Hovering in the background of these people’s lives, the question, on the face of it, seems so simple. To ask it, however, requires a break in the careless facade and a risky exposure of vulnerability. Fearfully, they hesitate, delay and agonize: “If I really care for this person, what if I can’t provide what he needs?” The respondent may falter and even concoct an answer that he thinks his lover would prefer to hear, in order to preserve the relationship. In my favorite story, “Too Much”, thirty three year old school teacher, Ned finds himself involved with Tim, a man six years younger who is his complete opposite. Ned is methodical, serious and even a bit anal-retentive. Tim, on the other hand is spontaneous, gleeful and “goofy”. Ned knows, even with the hard question unspoken, what Tim “needs” from him: a commitment to take their relationship to the next plateau: living together. Passion aside, tender feeling notwithstanding, Ned doubts the longevity of such a union. Nevertheless, Tim is handsome and personable, charming enough to even win over Ned’s ex-wife, who confers a “blessing” on the relationship. On a pivotal weekend camping trip to the mountains, Ned uncomprehendingly and jealously witnesses a bond begin to form between Tim and his six-year-old son. (Nedd treats Caleb like one of his students, Tim interacts with him more like an equivalent playmate.) If Tim weren’t so artless, Ned would suspect that he was manipulating the boy to add more compelling weight to his proposal. Ned eventually recognizes the extemporaneous and budding love of Caleb for Tim does not exclude him; that, and the congenial respect his ex-wife has for the new “co-father”, seem reasonable and legitimate justifications to overcome Ned’s petty misgivings. In “The Words”, we meet Matt whose shallow and flighty personality might befit some colt ten years his junior. Matt is considering a break-up with his lover of three years, the agreeable, but prosaic Brad. In those years, Matt could never bring himself to ask that hard question, “What do you need of me?” For the last ten years of his life, he has not asked it of previous lovers and he is not about to ask it anytime soon! When his relationships turn rocky, he goes to Ellen for “heart to hearts.” Ellen has enjoyed a moderately successful eleven-year marriage to Tom and has two kids.

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