A Place of Refuge

I never turn on my television during the day, so I first read about a plane crashing into the World Trade Center when I took a fast peek at a message board on the internet. I am mainly online after 11 PM, but I do indulge myself with a few minutes on the internet before I go to work in my garden or in one of the gardens where I work for money.

What I read seemed unreal, so I turned on my television and watched CNN Headline News. I could only watch for about five minutes; what I saw was so horrifying that I had to turn my television off. That was how I learned about what happened; I would watch for a few minutes, then I would turn off the television for an hour or so.

What I saw was an act of war, and I always withdraw from war. I live in the same community as Rick Francona, Suite 101's editor for Politics - Middle East. Rick has written a book entitled Ally to Adversary, about his experiences during the Gulf War and he has given several talks about this subject to our local community. I have heard that his talks are very interesting, but I could never force myself to attend one. The idea of listening to someone talk about war makes me very uncomfortable. I feel that I am being rude by not attending, especially since I introduced Rick to Suite 101, but I really don't want to hear what he has to say; I want to pretend that war doesn't exist.

In her book Early American Gardens, Anne Leighton expressed the opinion that "A garden to be a garden must represent a different world, however small, from the real world, a source of comfort in turmoil, of excitement in dullness, security in wildness, companionship in loneliness." I strongly agree with her. I live very quietly, so most of the time my garden is a source of stimulation, but when the outside world gets ugly, it is a place of refuge.

The warriors of this world probably see my tendency to withdraw from war as effete; maybe even decadent and a threat to freedom. I can understand why they would feel that way, but I think that it is best for each person to do what feels right for them. If what happened on Black Tuesday makes you angry, you should try to find a constructive way to express your anger, but if it makes you want to withdraw into a paradise garden, go ahead and withdraw. You probably won't remain withdrawn forever; you will rejoin the world when your wounds are healed.