Wire Coat Hangers

I recently found out that some people are unaware that the metamorphosis of bottle openers is their change into wire coat hangers. This occurs whenever the bottle openers are left alone and unguarded. That is the reason there are so many wire coat hangers and explains the disappearance of bottle openers. Another reason for the seemingly explosive growth of wire coat hangers is their propensity for reproduction in dark closets.

I have just discovered a use for the untold quantity of surplus wire coat hangers that cause every closet in the house to bulge. Break them into three pieces, discarding the hook portion. Plant them liberally among the Tulips as they first emerge in the spring. Now, every deer that attempts to dine on the young plants gets the surprise of its life and a poke in the nose. It has worked this year. For the first time in several years one Tulip bed planted with wires has lasted into flowering. Unfortunately, for any extensive planting of Tulips, a most extensive separation of coat hanger parts is required. Cropped Tulips are the result of deer foraging where coat hangers are absent. And then there are other uses for wire coat hangers.

 A friend of mine has another technique for repelling deer. He has hooked up a buzzer to a motion detector which is on a long extension cord. He claims the effective range is some twenty feet. I guess this might work to save several prized specimen plants.

Squirrels remain a problem. It is bad enough when they dig up a Tulip or Crocus bulb to eat. It is worse when they just munch on a portion and then dig up another. It's like the deer combined with some other varmints last summer. One bite out of a tomato, crop the top off the plant, and move on to another. I don't mind the holes in the lawn left by skunks. At least there is a compensating benefit, each hole is one less grub.

Gardening is a never ending love and hate affair with Nature. Nature, with a little help, provides a bountiful harvest of food and flowers and an equal or even more so bounty of pests and weeds. Pests come in all sizes with deer at the top of the list and spider mites near the bottom. Weeds are another story. One gardener's delight is a weed to another. Some poor benighted soul