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The choices we make

© Kelly L. Henderson

The other night while remote-clicking my way around the television (contrary to the popular myth it's not just men who do this), I came upon a program featuring a man in a wheelchair. He spoke of how choices he had made as an eighteen-year-old resulted in his damaging his spinal chord beyond repair. It was not, he said, fate that had put him in the chair but a simple choice, like the choices you and I make each and every day.

He went on to say that in the process of reconciling himself to life as a quadriplegic he had to make other choices as well. He could choose to be bitter and forever wonder "why me?" or he could choose to make something of his life using what he had. He chose the latter, vowing that he would live his life to the fullest and serve his fellow human beings as best he could from the confines of his wheelchair. He has done just that and been very successful as a speaker, author, and motivator.

No doubt most of us have made choices we regret, especially when we are young and inexperienced and really don't know better. Although the choices we made may not have had the devastating physical results experienced by the man in the wheelchair, they may still have powerful and long-lasting consequences in our lives.

Consider the choices made by a teenager who gives up a baby for adoption. A young woman who marries a man who physically abuses her. A decision to go to law school to appease parents. Ignoring warning signs of health problems. Being imprudent about managing your money. All these choices can lead to misgivings and regrets down the road. This in turn will force you to make new choices, difficult ones, about redirecting your life, redefining relationships, taking better care of yourself, saving money.

We all go through a learning process in life. Friends and family (especially family) may try to tell you what to do with your life and try to direct your future. Sometimes we listen, sometimes we don't. When we're young we think we know what is best for us and make decisions accordingly. Sometimes those decisions turn out to be real duds. I know. I made quite a few of them myself!

I think it was Maya Angelou who said something to the effect that you do the best you can with what you know. And when you know better you do better. When we're young and have little life experience we make decisions based on limited knowledge. As a result, we may end up doing some silly or impetuous things.

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