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Thought power

© Kelly L. Henderson

When I started thinking about my promise to write this week about thoughts, I realized that more than one article might be in order. I thought (!) I'd begin by writing a little about my own humble experience with the power of thought.

Last summer I was preparing for the Grade 8 piano exam and I had a lot riding on it. Achieving Grade 8 had been one of my goals since I started taking piano lessons two years earlier. I'd even skipped a grade to get to it. It was a milestone - a grade that was difficult but not as difficult as the grades that followed - and I thought if I could just get that far, maybe I could go even further.

Grade 8 was also an opportunity to improve my mark. I'd passed the previous exam with a respectable but less than spectacular mark. I knew I could do better, I knew I was a better piano player than that, and Grade 8 would be my chance to prove it.

The only problem was that as the months before the exam became weeks I began to lose my confidence. I became obsessed with the possibility of forgetting my pieces during the exam (piano exam repertoire is usually memorized).

My pieces seemed secure but what if fear got the better of me and I forgot them when I most needed to remember them? Every week at my lesson I'd attempt to play my exam repertoire for my teacher but inevitably I'd become overwhelmed with nervousness and not be able to play through.

I felt hopeless. And thinking about the exam made me feel panicky. My teacher gave me weekly pep talks. But my sister was blunt. She said since I was dwelling on the idea of doing poorly on the examination it would simply be a self-fulfilling prophecy if - when - I did.

She said that since I expected it to happen, WHEN it happened it would merely confirm my own lack of belief in my capabilities. She went so far as to say, maybe it should happen, maybe I should do poorly, because then I'd understand how important it is to think positive thoughts about my undertakings and to believe in my abilities.

Initially this just made me feel even more despondent. I wanted sympathy if nothing else. But my sister had said, "Maybe it should happen." Wasn't that a bit harsh? Yes, I admit it, I was feeling sorry for myself. But the penny had yet to drop. So still searching for an answer I turned to the Internet.

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