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Stop Renting Bad Movies, Pleas from a Clerk on the Edge

© Lisa Marie Cramer

As many of my readers may or may not know, I work in a video store. And not some funky, cute, off-the-wall video store, but for a major chain. This means that if I want a foreign film or a documentary or something a little different, I have to fight for it. But this week I was lucky. New to video this past Tuesday was MEMENTO.

MEMENTO is the story of Leonard (the ever so cute Guy Pearce). Some time ago Leonard’s wife was raped and murdered. After this event he developed a rare case of amnesia and can no longer make new memories. Everything before the tragedy is fine. But fifteen minutes ago? He wouldn’t know. Now his only mission in life is to hunt the man who did it and kill him. Along the way he picks up clues and makes friends. To remember his friends he takes Polaroid’s of them and makes notes. The big clues he gets involving the murderer he tattoo’s to himself. The movie is told backwards, starting at the end of the story, and working back by fifteen-minute increments. It’s involving. It’s creative. It’s original. And at my video store, we got sixteen copies of it!

But there’s bad news. In the last couple of weeks here are a few figures:

HANNIBAL (the sequel to THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, an entertaining yet inferior film, has almost nothing to do with SILENCE): 60 copies, always rented out

JOE DIRT (David Spade as a mullet-sporting janitor looking for his parents): 35 copies, always rented out

EXIT WOUNDS (Steven Segal and rap star DMX… chunky guy who has to get the film sped up so it looks like he’s moving faster, and a musician): 30 copies, always rented out

SEE SPOT RUN (David Arquette stars, it doesn’t get much worse than that): 24 copies, always rented out

MEMENTO (see above): 16 copies, only half of the copies have been rented so far

I’m sure you can see why I am almost ready to quit. MEMENTO is the most innovative film I’ve seen all year. It’s not a sequel. It’s not a remake. It’s an interesting and thought-provoking take on a murder mystery. And still it is ignored.

For the past two days I’ve recommended it to every customer who’s come to my register hoping for EXIT WOUNDS or HANNIBAL. In fact, I’m so incensed, I’ve taken to telling people that whatever they happen to want isn’t in, even if I know for a fact it is. “Rent MEMENTO” I insist. “What is it about it?” they inquire. I state the premise. They walk away slouched looking for a Pauly Shore movie. And then you know I do? I refuse to take their late fees off when they hand me ALL THE PRETTY HORSES or THE WEDDING PLANNER to rent.