Courtesy Matters

There is a pair of two-letter word in the Filipino dialect Tagalog that can be so profound in their meaning. These words have no one word equivalent in English but can be explained in a few dozen sentences. The use of these words shows reverence. They not only shows the one who spoke it has manners and good breeding, but they also show the person being spoken to as highly regarded. They are used when speaking to someone who is older than the speaker, or to someone who is of a position in society, or to one who is engaged in a noble profession (such as a teacher, doctor, etc.). The two words are namely, ho and po. The former is used to convey informal respect, if there is such a thing. The person one is conversing with is probably an acquaintance. The latter commands absolute respect, such as allotted to a person’s grandparents, or the President.

To give an idea the question, “How are you?” in Tagalog would be “Kumusta ka?” when asked among peers, but would be “Kumusta ho kayo?” or “Kumusta po kayo?” when spoken to someone who fit the aforementioned criteria.

And so, that was that. I thought the matter of those two little words are nicely settled within the general sphere of my philosophy and principles. Until I just had a birthday about a month ago. Usually, I am blasé when it comes to age and the anniversary of one’s birth. I had this unfailing belief that I am Asian and therefore I look like I possess the secret to the fountain of youth. After all, I have an aunt who is enjoying her golden years and could pass for someone in her 30s. Recently, another aunt was carded at the local grocery for purchasing a beverage with alcoholic content. It runs in the family, you might say.

What has those two words have got to do with anything? Little did I know that soon after passing the recent milestone I would feel so disconcerted over those two little words. This may just be all due to vanity. But when people three years or seven years younger than me started addressing me with the all-reverent ho. I started to, well….bristle! The thing is, for over three decades now, I am under the impression I am the most un-vain person I know. I could not stand praises nor being in the “limelight.” And so, much thought was given to this reaction. The result was rethinking my position on the usage of those two words, ho and po.