Raising Filipino Youths
There are factors we have to understand as to how we react to our kids. For instance, how we were brought up plays a major factor. Were we raised by overly cautious parents, by "old school" methods, or by "strict" parents? Did their methods work for us, especially for those who were growing up here in the US? Probably, for the majority, it served more as a hindrance for closeness than anything else.
Where Do Most Filipino Parents Go Wrong?
Filipino parents also have a propensity to want to control our children. What we say goes and our children cannot contradict that. How many parents will actually consider in the moment of argument that perhaps their child does make sense? How many will consider the possibility they could be wrong? Too few.
At this point, when the child feels their parents do not listen to him or her, the communication line breaks down. Study after study, shows that the teenager will sometimes try to talk to their parents only to receive negative response in forms of anger or scolding. The tendency for the teenager is to feel frustration and will likely not try again.
The fact is, as revealed in the study of Diane Wolf on Filipino families (1997, Sociological Perspectives, v40 no3), there is a high incidence rate of suicidal thoughts or attempts among Filipino youth, than any of their counterparts, particularly among teenage girls. Given to the analysis as to why would these young people be in such a state of desperation, they often profess to feelings of loneliness and are under the strong impression it was useless to confide in their parents.
Filipino parents also have a strong fear of their children being too "Americanized." There is no way around that. After all, they are growing up in America. When Filipino youths living in the Philippines are perceived to be at times too Westernized, what can anyone expect of the Filipino youths who are living in US soil? We have to realize we chose to bring up these kids here and we have to pick and choose wisely what we can and cannot control. We can control the degree of Americanization. What we have to do is make sure they are equally Filipinized as they are Americanized.
Rising Up to the Challenge
It is easier said than done as is ever the case. When parents get caught up in the cycle of attending
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