Fibrofog
Recently I was having fibrofog so severely that I couldn't even remember my street address. I literally had to find a recent letter in order to be sure that what I was typing was my correct address. Fibrofog is a very real symptom, and when we are going through it, we may feel as though we have lost our minds.
Fibrofog is a cognitive deficit, meaning that we can have problems with concentration and short-term memory. Both of these brain functions are greatly affected by sleep deprivation and neurotransmitter deficiencies. We may have difficulty learning and retaining information, processing information quickly, and recalling information spontaneously. For example, my temporary loss of memory for my street address was caused by fibrofog. We can also have difficulty finding the right word, following a conversation while thinking of what to say next, or even reading a book. Organizing, planning, setting goals and carrying out actions to meet these goals may also be difficult for us.
During a fibromyalgia flare, the fibrofog may be more apparent to us as it generally is more severe during these times. We may feel that we are in a state of utter confusion, and it can last for hours, weeks, or even months. Those of us who live with frequent and severe flares of pain and fatigue also experience more fibrofog. Many people have had to quit jobs or school due to the combination of severe flares and fibrofog. It is one of the least recognized and most serious symptoms of fibromyalgia. All of our other symptoms are magnified by fibrofog, and we often forget to do the things which minimize our physical symptoms. This places additional stress upon us which can lead to a flare, and thus more fibrofog. For example, I may forget to slowly stretch my legs before getting out of bed, and when my feet hit the floor, the pain and weakness reminds me very quickly that I'd forgotten to stretch.
Fibrofog is also very frustrating because when we are experiencing it, we can't express ourselves well. Words just don't come together that make sense, and trying to carry on a conversation with another person becomes a major obstacle in communication. Thoughts expressed by others can fly right over my head, and although it is sometimes funny, it is also very frustrating to me. I do not consider myself to be able to understand everything that is said to me, but when I notice that I am having even greater difficulty following a flow of conversation, I feel like others must think that I've very stupid. However, just knowing that my brain sometimes doesn't work right helps me to maintain my sense of self rather than think that I've lost the capacity to think and understand.
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