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A Walk Through the 12 Steps: Step 10

© Cynthia Webber (Jausten)

Step 10 of any 12-Step Program says that we continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. In Step 4, we began a process of self-examination by taking an inventory of ourselves. We continued this process in subsequent Steps as we tried to act upon what we have learned about ourselves. We learned to take responsibility for ourselves and to turn the rest over to our Higher Power. This can be a cleansing and empowering experience, but it is only the beginning of a lifelong process of spiritual renewal and emotional growth.

Step 10 is a daily commitment to continue this healing of ourselves. We must continue to examine ourselves and our lives, focusing not only on our errors and shortcomings, but especially upon our successes, improvements, and our gifts.

Living with fibromyalgia and following the 12 Steps helps us to daily acknowledge the areas in which we are changing and make adjustments as needed. This process allows us to connect with others and thus our relationships will become better. As we treat ourselves with honesty and compassion, we become capable of extending the same to others. Change does not happen overnight, and sometimes it may seem as though we are taking two steps forward and one step back.

It may seem wrong to those around me for me to spend an enormous amount of time writing and creating on the computer, but in reality, I have discovered an outlet for myself. What needs to be done is explain to them that this is actually helping me to discover who I am and how this is helping me to cope with my fibromyalgia. This is difficult because what I may see as not being wrong or unhealthy for me may be seen differently by others.

Step 10 must be taken with sincere self-honesty, but also with great compassion for ourselves. We are doing the best that we can under the circumstances of our lives now. We are only human, and thus we fall short of perfection. We can not afford to justify our mistakes, because guilt will occur. If we truly feel that something we've done or said is hurtful, then we need to admit to ourselves that we've been wrong, and then make amends whenever appropriate and as soon as possible.

Through working the first nine Steps on a continual basis, we then use Step 10 as a daily inventory of ourselves. Going over our day, we can find things that we've done or said which have hurt others, plus we can also find things which have helped others. This Step is a step of maintenance of what we have learned about ourselves in the previous Steps.