A Son's Perspective on Fibromyalgia - Page 2
© Cynthia Webber (Jausten)
In a perfect situation, I would have my computer in a separate room, and the family room would become what it used to be. However, we don't live in a perfect situation.
Since this was written from his perspective and not mine, I have to look at his words to see how my fibromyalgia has impacted him. I believe that it has made him angry because I'm not the mother that he grew up knowing. He has always encouraged me to write, yet none of my family members have taken much interest in my web site or my fibromyalgia articles, and that is where I write. I believe that this is another opportunity to open communication between us, and although we do have a good relationship, I can see his frustration and lack of understanding of what my days are really like.
He has touched upon the fact that the family needs to be more supportive and understanding, but there comes a time when it must come from them and not the person who is dealing with pain and fatigue on a daily basis.
Not only has my life changed, but their lives have also been changed. I didn't ask for fibromyalgia, but I have done the research into this baffling condition in order to understand it better. My family has not done the same. I may miss a meal with them due to someone needing to chat with me, and this hurts them. What they don't see is that their support of me is lacking when I have to continually request help with household chores, and their expectations that I stop whatever I'm doing in order to meet their needs is unnecessary at this time in their lives.
I sat for several hours one day and explained my fibromyalgia to my son. I believe that what he is still feeling is his inability to be supportive because he lacks knowledge of my condition. Hopefully, this will open a door of understanding, and I can explain that my time on the computer is mostly spent writing or being creative. He also does not seem to understand how tiring it is to visit with family and friends who expect me to be lively and entertaining. This is another area which needs to be explained.
I also believe that the idea of working and making money from my writing is a part of not only his anger, but also the anger of the rest of my family. He understands that writing is not an easy way to make a living, and he is also studying film and English in order to be able to teach or do something else until he does become an established writer. The same applies to me. What I've been doing the past year is write each day, and this is the discipline that I needed in order to branch out into writing a novel or a book of readings for those with fibromyalgia.
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