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New Year's Resolution

© Cynthia Webber (Jausten)

The day after Christmas, or Boxing Day as it is called in Canada, England and other countries, can be a major flare day for those of us with fibromyalgia.

The stress and activity of Christmas is what sent me into my first flare last year, and I didn't even know what a flare or FM crisis was at that time. All I knew was that my pain was greatly increased, and I was having difficulty dealing with it.

What I have learned during the past year is to not expect myself to be free of pain, nor to think that there is a miracle cure for fibromyalgia in the near future.

Having been on the Internet for a year now, I've met many people who are trying desperately to find a cure whether it is through vitamins, herbs, diet and alternative therapies, or through medications and conventional therapies. Some of those people have become a part of my life, but some have not. I have found that those who try to persuade me to do a certain activity, take a certain medication, or use a particular alternative treatment are not really thinking of me as I really am.

How can someone really know of another's life via the Internet? The answer for each of us is within ourselves, although we can give support to others when we are feeling good enough ourselves. We must learn to take care of ourselves first, and if those around us or even those on the net feel rejected because we don't have the time and energy to spend with them, then that is their problem and not ours.

Loving ourselves first, and taking the time to think and feel about our lives as they are now is what gives us the strength and courage to follow the path that is ahead of us. I doubt if any of us are thrilled to have fibromyalgia, but that is what we have to deal with on a daily basis. If others can't understand or support us when we are in a flare, then we have to learn to depend upon ourselves, and only do what we are capable of doing.

This isn't easy to do, but learning to say "no," and saying it loudly sometimes is what helps us to take care of ourselves. I have learned in the past year that I have good days and bad days, and although the bad days seem to outnumber the good ones lately, I've learned to distance myself from those who can drain my energy reserves further. This means that I sometimes must distance myself from my own family, because they don't always understand my pain and fatigue. Their perception of me is not who I am today. I have tried to explain over and over again about my fibromyalgia, and starting with a new year, I have chosen not to explain it to them anymore. If they really want to support me, then it is time for them to learn about fibromyalgia. In the process, they may learn more about me. Friends and acquaintances on and off the Net need to be there for me, and to respect my distance when I'm not feeling well.

The copyright of the article New Year's Resolution in Fibromyalgia is owned by Cynthia Webber (Jausten). Permission to republish New Year's Resolution in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.