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Fibromyalgia and Anger

© Cynthia Webber (Jausten)

Recently, I struggled with one of the most painful days that I've had in a very long time. I had attempted to do some heavy household chores, and my body rebelled against me. I spent the entire day with pain levels of 20+ out of a scale of 0-10! My painkillers did nothing to ease the pain that was spread throughout my entire body, and I tried a hot shower and even a liniment that is suppose to relax sore muscles. Nothing seemed to help so I cuddled up in bed with my dogs and slept for two hours. When I awoke, the pain had subsided a bit, but still wasn't completely gone.

I don't usually share my really bad days with others, but I was in so much pain that I did let a few of my on-line friends know about it. The response was compassionate and understanding, and I greatly appreciated it. Someone even sent me a card but it was from a secret pal, and I haven't a clue who cared enough to take the time to brighten up my day.

Dealing with severe pain isn't helped by my anger at myself for doing household chores that I know I'm not suppose to do. However, our house has become very dirty and messy since the children are so busy with school and work, and they don't have the time to help with the heavier chores. My husband does what he can, but he is working hard and trying to keep us out of debt by working at two jobs, plus doing some of the much needed repairs around this house.

Anger at myself always turns to depression, hopelessness and frustration with my fibromyalgia and my life changes. If I use my anger in a destructive manner, such as yelling at my family members, or trying to do things that I know will cause me more physical pain, then I'm not taking care of myself.

It is difficult to be the woman in the home who has fibromyalgia, and I've heard of many women who struggle with their families and themselves, trying to keep the household running as it did prior to developing fibromyalgia. In a previous article that I wrote about fibromyalgia and the family, someone brought up the question of how she had read books that said that fibromyalgia didn't have to affect the family. Her question was, "How it could possibly not, when the person who "runs" the household can't do it anymore?"