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A Walk Through the 12-Steps: Step 1

© Cynthia Webber (Jausten)

During the next 12 weeks, I hope to take a journey through the 12 steps of any 12-step Program, and relate them to dealing with fibromyalgia. Many 12-step programs are available for support for many different types of physical, emotional, or spiritual problems, and my belief is that a 12-step Program can be used for any condition.

The first step of any type of 12-step program is admitting that we are powerless over something, and that our lives are unmanageable. Applying this step to our FMS can help us to begin to make choices that are helpful to us in accepting our chronic condition.

We are powerless over our fibromyalgia, and as long as we persist in the delusion that we can control or cure FMS, its symptoms, or its effects, we continue to fight a battle that we cannot win. Our self-esteem, relationships and ability to enjoy life all suffer if we use our limited energy on hopeless endeavors of searching for a "cure," or the perfect pill, vitamin, herb, diet, exercise program, or anything else that is available to us for total control of our symptoms. When we find something that seems to work, we are overjoyed, but when it stops working, we become frustrated and go out searching for something else. We waste time, energy and money, and thus, our lives become unmanageable.

On the other hand, when we find something that works for us, we sometimes develop misplaced concern for others by telling them what to take for their fibromyalgia, what exercise to do, and how they should manage their lives. Thus, instead of helping those we care about, we demonstrate a lack of respect for them and create discord in our relationships. Our lives become unmanageable when we lose perspective about what is and is not our responsibility. Other people's lives are not our responsibility.

Our desire to help others can affect our own physical, emotional or spiritual health, and we feel resentful because others don't want to listen or follow our helpful advice. We have then set ourselves up for a fibromyalgia flare due to the stress of trying to change others.

With the first step, we admit that we did not cause, cannot control, and cannot cure fibromyalgia. By admitting this to ourselves and believing it, we let go of the losing battle we have been waging and we surrender. This may sound easy, but it is a step that must be taken daily or whenever we start to blame ourselves, others, or start to think that we have been "cured."

The copyright of the article A Walk Through the 12-Steps: Step 1 in Fibromyalgia is owned by Cynthia Webber (Jausten). Permission to republish A Walk Through the 12-Steps: Step 1 in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.