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When and Where to Whine!

© Cynthia Webber (Jausten)

I recently asked my husband where he thought the best place was to whine about dealing with fibromyalgia. His suggestion was to go into a dark closet, place a mirror in the closet, light a candle, and whine at myself in the mirror. Granted, he doesn't have FMS, but he does have to live with me! I haven't tried it yet, but am seriously considering doing an experiment with it to see if it helps me, and I will post the results of my experiment in a future article.

I detest whining and complaining in certain situations. It reminds me of when my children were little, and they would whine about anything and everything to get my attention. Now that they are teens, they just complain about each other to me, and about how difficult their lives are because of their siblings! I have chosen not to listen to them unless they are willing to do something about their conflicts.

The same goes for people with fibromyalgia. Just because we have a chronic condition which doesn't have a known cause or a cure, does not mean that we have the right to whine and complain to others about our pain, fatigue, and lack of understanding from our families, physicians and friends.

I do whine and complain, but I try to limit it to special friends who also have FMS, and can understand and just listen until I've realized that I've been whining. I whine to friends via email, and thank them for just listening to me. For all I know, they may not have even read the email, but it makes me feel better.

I also whine and complain in my on-line journal, and when I go back and reread some of my entries, I can see what I must change in myself in order to cope better with my FMS.

None of us can change anyone except ourselves, and the first step towards change involves awareness. I do not tolerate whining and complaining in chat rooms, on message boards, or even in FMS support groups. For me, all it does is create a negative atmosphere, and cause more stress. Stress and fibromyalgia don't mix, and I've found that if I can avoid as much stress as possible, I feel better both physically and emotionally.

I have received e-mail from friends who have fibromyalgia, and they are more than welcome to whine and complain all they want in an e-mail to me. Usually, I end up laughing because they sound just like me! Laughter is a great tool to use for dealing with FMS, and I try to laugh and not take myself so seriously at least once a day.

The copyright of the article When and Where to Whine! in Fibromyalgia is owned by Cynthia Webber (Jausten). Permission to republish When and Where to Whine! in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.