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The Three P's - Pacing, Perfectionism, & People

© Cynthia Webber (Jausten)

Learning to pace myself with my activities is one of the hardest things for me to learn to do. I was used to focusing on four or five things at one time prior to my acceptance of fibromyalgia. I also had the ability to fully concentrate on these things, and was able to juggle working as a Registered Nurse, caring for my home and family, studying at University, and maintaining an exercise program and social life.

Now, I sometimes can't even remember what I've written or said to someone, and of course my teenagers think that I have become senile. I tell myself that I will concentrate on one thing at a time, get my walking and swimming done, and get to bed at a reasonable hour. But, I was so used to being able to do so many things without having pain or fatigue that I tend to forget to pace myself.

I distract myself from my FMS pain by working on my web pages but working non-stop for 12 hours isn't very healthy for me. I do get up, stretch, and walk around the room, but I am usually thinking of what I need to do next. I have to constantly remind myself that pacing my activities is a part of my life now, and if I don't learn to do it, I will continue to have fibromyalgia flares.

Being a perfectionist doesn't help with my learning to pace myself. True, my house and yard are a mess, but I like my web pages to be neat and organized. Also, I have been learning to make graphics, and my expectations of myself are much greater than my ability at this time. I can spend several hours just working on one small graphic, and although I am distracting myself, I am also creating more muscle tension. Once I stop and stretch, I can feel my muscles rebelling against the stretching.

Playing the piano is very relaxing for me, but I don't just sit down and play for my own pleasure anymore. I play to practice a new piece of music. Granted, I do take piano lessons and need to practice, but even my teacher doesn't expect me to practice for an hour each day without taking breaks.

Being perfect is not the same as being a perfectionist. None of us are perfect because we are human. But, being a perfectionist means that our expectations of ourselves is to be perfect in everything that we do or in every situation that we encounter.

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