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My FMS is Invisible, but I'm Not!

© Cynthia Webber (Jausten)

Recently, I spent the afternoon and evening with my family at my in-law's house. My father-in-law is 83 years old, and has had two strokes in the past two years. He was very healthy, and played tennis, swam, and took long holidays every year prior to his first stroke. He now uses a cane and is having a difficult time accepting his losses. His loss of control over his life has left him irritable, self-centered, and depressed.

As it was a very warm day, I was hoping to be able to use their swimming pool because swimming does help my fibromyalgia, but the temperature was set at 78 degrees F. I explained to my father-in-law that it was far too cold for me due to my FMS, and when I told him that I needed the pool at 86 degrees or higher, he stated that that was like a hot tub. I tried to get into the pool to ease my pain, but it was far too cold for me even after he raised the temperature to 80 degrees. He couldn't understand why I needed it warmer, because in his eyes, I am a healthy young woman. I decided to just lie in the sun, and not make a big issue out of the pool temperature.

Before we went out to dinner, I asked my mother-in-law if she still had her father's cane, because I have gotten to the point with my fibromyalgia that a cane would be very useful for me during long walks. She found it for me and my father-in-law was shocked that I wanted and needed a cane. He can't understand my FMS, and I doubt if he ever will, but I refuse to argue with him or waste my limited energy trying to explain fibromyalgia to him.

I became very fatigued and my pain levels were very high after dinner from sitting in an uncomfortable chair for over an hour. Since we had decided to walk around a park and look at art work, pottery, and crafts that were displayed that evening, I thought that a slow and gentle walk would help to reduce my pain, and the cool air would refresh me so that I could enjoy my time with my family. I chose not to use the cane because we weren't going to be walking very far, but in retrospect I wish that I had. The art show was closing soon, so I was being rushed from one area to the next, and by the time we returned to the car, I was totally exhausted and in even more pain. I really just wanted to climb into the back seat of the car, and sleep on the way home, but my family had other plans.

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