Don't Feel Guilty about your FMS - Put Yourself First!

Getting the right kind of support from friends and family members can be frustrating at times. Because those of us with fibromyalgia look better than we feel, it is sometimes difficult to get both the physical and emotional support that we need.

If we have several good days or weeks, and are able to do more physical activities, then sometimes our family and friends think that we are either cured or really didn't have FMS in the first place. Trying to explain this invisible condition to others can actually cause us more stress which can increase our pain and fatigue levels.

I have literally thrown literature at my immediate family members, told them that I was not allowed by my physicians to do certain heavy household chores, and have had to fight to be heard and listened to about my inability to do certain activities. I do not recommend this approach as all it does is create anger and resentments for both the person with FMS and their family members.

It is difficult enough for those of us with fibromyalgia to accept our limitations, and it seems to be even more difficult for our family and friends because they have to learn to accept something which they can't see or feel. Watching someone whom they love suffer from constant pain and fatigue is more difficult to understand than watching someone in acute pain or even dealing with the pain of Cancer.

We live in a society where most ailments are treated with a pill, but the pain and fatigue of FMS doesn't disappear even when we are properly medicated by caring physicians.

I have used my primary physician to explain my fibromyalgia to my husband and youngest son. They are the two members of my immediate family who have had the most difficulty understanding my condition, so during a routine examination of my husband, my doctor sat and explained FMS to him. It made a major difference in our relationship, and he is becoming more supportive than he was a year ago. My youngest son had to see our doctor for a pain in his right leg which wouldn't go away, and was told to think about the pain that he had in his leg, multiple it by ten, and then spread it throughout his entire body. The doctor then told him to imagine having that level of pain during every waking moment, and then he proceeded to explain to him that that was how I felt everyday. My son's eyes grew huge with understanding, and after we left the office and made a quick trip to the store, he offered to carry the basket and helped to pick out the few items which we needed. This was the beginning of understanding for him, and I am very grateful for my supportive physician.

Go To Page: 1 2

Articles in this Topic    Discussions in this Topic