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Denial is not a River in Egypt!

© Cynthia Webber (Jausten)

Learning to cope with Fibromyalgia has been difficult for me. I was first diagnosed with FMS (Fibromyalgia Syndrome) in 1991 by my medical doctor. I had sustained two work-related back injuries during 1990, while working as a Registered Nurse at a local hospital. I distinctly remember walking into my doctor's office in January of 1991, and telling him that it wasn't just my back that hurt. I hurt all over! He immediately started pressing on certain areas of my body, and even though it wasn't a heavy pressure, I jumped with pain. He informed me that I had Fibromyalgia. Just because I'm a nurse doesn't mean that I know everything about different diseases and conditions, and I had never heard of Fibromyalgia. He explained it to me by saying that it was like having arthritis of the muscles, and that it was a chronic condition. He discussed the importance of good sleep, mild exercise, and mild anti-depressants to help to restore proper sleep. I did not want this chronic condition, but I followed his treatment. I started researching everything that I could find about this syndrome, and the more I read, the less I wanted to have it! I didn't tolerate the anti-depressants well, so I stopped taking them with my doctor's approval.

I continued to work, took courses at University, and cared for my home and family as though nothing was wrong with me. I basically refused to have this condition. My doctor switched my diagnosis to Myofascial Pain Syndrome, which I knew would improve over time, in order to help me to accept some of my limitations, and this worked for awhile. But in January, 1996 he sent me to a specialist who worked with people who had chronic pain. She informed me that I had more tender points than was necessary for a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. These tender points are the areas of the body which are the hallmark for diagnosing FMS, and when 4 kilos of pressure are applied, these sites have an unusual degree of tenderness. The tender points must be in all four quadrants of the body, and having 11 out of 18 tender points is necessary for an accurate diagnosis. They are located in identical body sites in all people with FMS.

My denial of my condition was broken that day, and I was so upset that I smashed the rear end of my car as I was leaving the parking lot. Thus began my journey of learning to live and cope with Fibromyalgia. I had graduated from University, but had been unable to work since May, 1995 due to my sixth or seventh back injury. With the support of my doctors, I was able to obtain long-term disability insurance based upon my FMS.

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