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The Sandwich Generation

© Cynthia Webber (Jausten)

Although I knew what the term, "the sandwich generation" meant, I didn't understand the full impact of it until I found myself actually living in it. As a baby boomer, I married in my late 20's, had my children during my 30's, and now in my early 50's, I am faced with the raising of one teenager, supporting two young adults as they complete their University and music degrees, and helping my in-law's as they cope with the recent stroke and hospitalization of my father-in-law. Throwing in a diagnosis of fibromyalgia in my 40's, which ended my nursing career, makes living in "the sandwich generation" a bit difficult at times.

I do receive disability, my husband works full-time, and the two older children are paying for their continued education and their own clothing , transportation and needs, but the cost of maintaining a home, providing food for five people, and trying to find the time and money for some relaxing time is difficult.

The driving out to visit my father-in-law in the care facility takes about an hour, and I make this trip at least once a week. I am there to spend time with him, give emotional support to my mother-in-law, and also to make sure that he is receiving the care that he needs at this time.

Living in "the sandwich generation" isn't the same for everyone, and each family must make their own decisions of what will work the best for them. Having my father-in-law in a care facility isn't what any of us want, but since he requires total care, it is impossible for him to be at home unless 24 hour nursing care was available and we lived closer to both of them. The cost of nursing care could be managed, however there may be nothing left to provide for my mother-in-law if she needs the same thing.

Moving them to our home is a possibility, but their friends will then be an hour away, and they are all in their 70's and 80's. It would also require us to rearrange our living space, and having them live out the rest of their lives in the basement of our home isn't exactly what they'd planned. It would also mean that nursing care would still be needed since I am unable to manage the physical care that is required. My children would have to rearrange their lives in order to help with the care of their elderly grandparents, plus my husband's and my life would be drastically altered.

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