Coping with Fibromyalgia: One man's perspective
How does FMS affect your quality of life?
Ruined my career. Now unable to work for an employer due to restricted mobility and frequent bad days. Forced to be self-employed taking in consultancy work when I can, for a pittance. (sound bitter - You Bet!!) Restricts social activities, can't go out so much,need to leave functions early, uncomfortable when there. Constant pain makes everything that much less enjoyable. Have difficulty doing house-work and gardening, so home environment is not as I would like (my wife is out at work all day, so I can't expect her to do everything.) Severely restricts sex life which is very important to us.
Which areas of FMS are you most affected by?
The pain is the worst, followed closely by the cognitive problems. I have recently had some intensive psychiatric therapy and have learned to keep the emotional problems under control.
Are you married, living with a significant other, or single?
Married, 30 years, two adult children, four grandchildren
How does FMS affect your relationships with your family and friends?
Because I have become more reclusive, I tend not to want contact with others so much, including, unfortunately, my family. The kids live 120 miles away which makes it difficult to see them regularly, but, since they also have problems, I find it difficult to cope with everything. My wife has been extremely supportive throughout, but I get the feeling she doesn't fully understand what it's like to have FM.
Do you belong to a support group? If not would you consider joining one?
Yes, Fibro Friends - the only one I belong to, but I am very happy there. There are no groups local to me.
Are you employed, unemployed, or disabled?
Forcibly self-employed. Disabled, with a small disablement pension and a small military pension.
Have you found a lack of information addressing FMS from the male perspective?
Most definitely yes. I have even found the odd site that says men are 'unlikely' to get FM.
What have been your sources of information about FMS?
Apart from Suite101, one or two of the US based links on the Fibro Friends' site have been very helpful. Very few, if any, Uk sites have helped.
What is your greatest concern, or fear, regarding FMS?
Being in the same family as, and having some alarmingly similar symptoms to MS, a major fear is a mis-diagnosis, or, indeed, a progression to MS. Also, because my earnings are diminishing, pensions are de-valuing rapidly and it is hardly worth saving
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