The Fibromyalgia Friends on Acceptance
© Fibromyalgia Support Group
Tamara:
When I first found this group I was in the same place as you are. I was angry, sad, and yes, suicidal. You know what? I also did not believe that I ever would get past that first stage. But I did. For me, it came about as a result of finding the support I so desperately needed. What I've come to realize is that for most of us here, who have been posting together for several years, we've just about all reached the same level of acceptance I think. It was a long process that we journeyed together, but didn't all conclude at the same time.
The following is from a previous article I wrote on acceptance:
Accepting the diagnosis of a chronic illness has been compared to the Kübler-Ross five-stage model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) of what a dying person goes through upon being told they have a terminal illness. (Fibromyalgia may not be terminal, but it sure can be life-challenging and life-changing.) It is important to be aware of these stages, know they are part of a very normal process that not everyone will go through in exactly the same way in order to deal with them effectively.
Some concrete methods for dealing with the feelings and responses that may occur through the various stages include:
Arming yourself with knowledge - empowering yourself through research and gathering information.
Acknowledging your losses - grieve them if you must - then move on.
Shifting your focus of thinking to how you can over-come problems by seeing them as challenges and potentials rather than limits.
Acheiving acceptance means that you have come to terms with your diagnosis and are now ready to deal with it in a constructive manner.
What I am hoping you will get from this is that it is perfectly normal to feel the way you are feeling. It is all part of the process. However, it is also possible to become stuck in a stage, and not allow yourself to move beyond it. Some of us have found that the grieving process is the most important stage for us to acknowledge and go through. We've even found it helpful to have a symbolic funeral, if you will, for our former selves.
I'd also like you to know that sometimes, acceptance doesn't come easily. It may only come after we've taken the bull by the damn horns, looked it in the eyes, danced with it a
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