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Time-Out vs. Time-In: Effective Discipline Ideas

© Rachel Webb

Hey moms! Have you ever put yourself in time-out? I have! Sometimes I want time-out from the house-work. Time-out from fighting kids. Time-out from laundry. My problem is that I often don't want to come out of "time-out". My room is peaceful and I can avoid all the negative that real life can bring with it. I like time-out and I don't care if I ever let myself out of my room for "Time-In". I'm sure I'm not the only mom out there who has felt like this, but what can we learn from it to become better parents?

Using Time-out for bad behavior is hardly a new concept and every classroom I have ever been in has used it in some form or another. But as our child's "teachers" in life, we need to be reminded about the rules for a successful time-out.

TIME-IN! Time Out will not be effective if you don't have time-in. Time-in is the "Good Stuff" a child likes. If a child has nothing to lose by going to time-out, and no incentive to be apart of Time-in, it won't work.

Time-in for fun with the rest of the family. Time-in for happy activities. Time-in needs to seem like thee place to be and the starkest contrast to time-out as you can make it appear. Just as I need positive incentive to come out of my room and be the mom again...kids need the incentive too. Sometimes when one of our children is sent to time out my husband and I will immediately start a family game or have an impromptu dance to their favorite music. Anything to make time-in fun. Sometimes we will loudly say, "Oh I wish so-&-so could be here to join us" :) It is more effective said to other Time-in kids and family members, where the time-out child can overhear, then if we say it to them personally. Why?

NO TALKING! You shouldn't talk to your child when they are in time-out. The idea is to take away the good stuff for awhile and your attention is one of those good things. Discussing their inappropriate behavior can be talked about before and after time-out, not during.

BE A "5-1" PARENT For every time you your child goes to time-out for misbehavior, provide 5 opportunities for them to earn praise or reward.

END WITH LOVE! When something has upset a child, having each parent give an additional 50 touches a day is a good form of "medicine." Remember this phrase: "When in Reach, Reach Out!" As used in many pre-schools.

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