Some random thoughts on our favorite pastime…
”When a society or a civilization perishes, one condition can always be found. They forgot where they came from.” –Carl Sandburg Likewise, a family that has ignored its past is one more likely to weaken with time.
It is likely that as you continue your family history research, you will encounter a skeleton or two falling out of a closet. Family skeletons can be surprising, hilarious, sad, or even shocking. Just remember that there are reasons why some things have been kept secret or quiet. When you run into one, keep in mind the rights that others have to privacy. The general principle in genealogy, unless you receive permission otherwise, is to keep the information of living relatives private. Something you perceive as funny may be very painful to someone else.
I will share with you a skeleton that I uncovered. (The involved parties have long since departed this earth, so hopefully there are no privacy issues here.) I found the names of my great-grandfather and great-grandmother on a database listing Confederate pension applicants. I quickly sent off a letter requesting the records, fully expecting to just get a few sheets of paper, listing dry facts like birth dates, dates of military service, etc. Instead, I received a very thick envelope containing a sheaf of documents. As I pored over them, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I phoned my mother, to ask her if she knew anything about this. She was completely surprised, as was her sister. So what did I find? My great-grandmother, in order to receive her “widower’s pension”, received a request that she send an affidavit detailing the reasons for her twenty year separation from my great-grandfather. This was my first surprise. Nobody had ever mentioned anything like this. In her responding affidavit, my great-grandmother detailed the reasons for the separation. She claimed that she was still my great-grandfather’s legal spouse, and that she had not left him of her own accord. Instead, she had been “forced to leave home with their five small children at the point of a shotgun.” Apparently, my great-grandfather had threatened to kill her and the children several times before. Believing his intentions, she left home. She offered to return to him if he would promise to quit drinking whiskey and to treat her and the children like they should be treated, but he stated that “he would rather have his whiskey and live alone.”
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