What's all this about Attachment Parenting?

But there's a time and a place for everything, and there are some times and places that just don't call for babies worn as body adornment. As an adult, I take offense at other adults who assume it's OK to lug their children absolutely everywhere. In my humble opinion adults need a little space to themselves once in a while. The office is no place for a tiny infant. Nor is a bar, or a party thrown by and intended for adults. Some places and events simply don't call for drooling infants. And certainly the marriage bed is an adult's last (and often only) refuge from the otherwise constant demands of a very demanding infant.

Adults need and deserve a child-free break once in a while, if only while they're asleep. And what about sex? Do these overzealous attachment types really think it's entirely healthy to have at it while junior naps fitfully by their sides? Or do they simply abandon sex altogether like good monks eager to get into parenting heaven?

Of course, the Attachment fanatics also believe it's utterly essential to continue breast-feeding long into childhood. There's something a little icky about a child who's old enough to pull a chair into the pantry and reach the cereal, also climbing into mom's lap, pulling out her breast and telling her he's ready to snack. Sorry Attachment types: It's just plain creepy. Give the kid a glass of milk, for crying out loud. If your child is old enough to say "breasts," he's old enough to bid them farewell. At least until adulthood.

But that's just my opinion. As I've said before, only you can decide what works for you and your family. Perhaps you feel unable to connect properly with your fellow man or woman. If so, I'm not entirely sure why you're married and a parent, but that's neither here nor there. Go ahead and give Attachment Parenting a try. After all, even blood-sucking leeches have come back in favor in modern medicinal applications. Maybe there's really something to be said for children as parental leeches. Who am I to judge?

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