SEIZURES AND YOUR PARTNER PART II


© Paulette Hart Le Pore
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Jul 18, 2000


Seizures and Your Partner

Crash Course Topics: Your Seizures: How your partner can help the most. Side effects: Being wary of the visible and especially the invisible ones! Psychological Issues: These vary depending on the amount your limitations due to seizures.

BEWARE: BOUNDARIES & LIMITATIONS

Driving-Your spouse complains at red lights and you can only "play with the steering wheel". Spontaneity and independence that driving brings can be tough privileges to witness. You are tough. You have lived through having a seizure many times, right?

Career-Health complications compromising job opportunities can play tricks with your ego. Your partner isn't responsible for your seeming trapped circumstances. Lack of friends-Because you might not work you may have a "hermit-like" lifestyle. Fear of touring out your front door from seizure uncertainty could be a culprit too. Seizures are responsible for your fears but you together can overcome them.

The one who loves you doesn't revel in your discomfort nor taunt you with his or her freedom. If loves is unconditional, he or she wants you to have all the privileges, perks, and bonuses that go with a "normal lifestyle". If the wave of a magic wand could have transformed you into a healthy person, that would have been ages ago. Your partner wants to see you take pills that work 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. The merging of two worlds is really a fantastic thing when the better parts of those lives are brought together leaving the worst behind.

THE EIGHT GREAT RELATIONSHIP COMMANDMENTS:

1. Accept your partner's accomplishments giving praise freely.

2. Assume the best about your partner's intentions. Don't jump to unfair conclusions.

3. Avoid jealousy and do not compare lifestyles!

4. Focus on your collections of interests and hobbies.

5. Don't let romance be forgotten! Some side effects reduce libido, and effect sexual functioning. Address those issues promptly with your neurologist. Don't let drugs dampen your fire! If rejection plays a problem, get professional help. Making a "Love List" that reminds you both what you value in eachother. Read them aloud to eachother.

6. "Seizure-tunnel vision" forces your lives to revolve around a diagnosis. With every ounce of strength you possess; do not let health setbacks "stifle your style"!

7. Form new hobbies that refresh your relationship. Pretend as though seizures are not a part of your lives.

8. A jump-start for your relationship could be as simple as doing something neither of you has done before. Be spontaneous together!

Supportive looks of love in eachother's eyes will be both your rewards. Others, with fewer crosses to bear, will find it difficult to match the strength of the foundation that holds up your love.

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages
1.   Nov 3, 2000 2:41 PM
It is tough enough for us with seizures to just "deal" with the day-to-day surprises we get, let alone keep a relationship strong.

If any of you have any strategies you have discovered have helped ...

-- posted by PMotzko



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