Be a professional at reversing the implications associated with the disabled Siamese twin. I remember how betrayed I felt when, after saving diligently, waiting patiently, and delighting in anticipation, the day arrived that some new furniture was to be delivered. As it turned out I had a complex-partial seizure before the first piece entered the house and was going through my postictal depressed state. I was upset that my special day had been wrecked by this imposing heckler called a seizure. When talking to my husband he gave such poignant advice and reminded me that there are no "sacred days" but days to make the most of. He told me to stop thinking that certain days are to be exclusive of turmoil, pain or sickness only because we want them to be. He said words I want you all to remember: "We are not given special days but days to live, days to choose how we react to situations that might arise, and these days form the years we will remember." After awhile I wiped the fatigue off my face and looked around the room and really opened my eyes. I saw the furniture we'd imagined, now a reality, and it was no less beautiful as a result of my lost consciousness. Later in the evening I had another complex partial with no warning. This time, aside from needing rest to recuperate, once I awoke the perspective my husband spoke of earlier was with me. I knew I could blind myself to the world around me just by reliving sad memories. By refocusing my world as though I was taking a camera and taking a blurred filter off, the picture of my world transformed. Earlier I felt like I'd been zapped by the "seizure fairy godmother" that wanted to give a ball and chain instead of the legendary ruby slippers. That night I physically felt like I had been run over by a steamroller but psychologically I felt at peace.
It's one thing when that disabled twin changes your plans, but how do we remain reliable for others, thus keeping our self-esteem? Creating a transportation network composed of paratransit, if applicable, bus routes, good friends and family add versatility and spontaneity to your life. By creating a fail-safe database of people who you live close to you, you'll have to make fewer excuses. Plan number one will go into place, then two and so on. I'm not expecting that, as an individual who prides yourself on independence, you'll expect people to drop everything and run at your every whim or be your free taxi. Find bartering methods you can use that don't necessarily cost money. For a ride you can watch a child for a specific time, cook somebody dinner, run an errand within your means or brainstorm some ideas of your own. As long as our disabled transportation systems are lacking ingenuity, we must replace it if we're to preserve our dignity and self-esteem.
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