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Why Does S/he Get Offended When We Talk About Him/Her?

© Barb Alexander

In the old days, way back when I was in school (I'm talking about the 80s, here), there was a simple way to refer to a "generic" person: by using the gender-neutral pronoun "he" or "him" (also called the epicene pronoun). It was an "understood" pronoun, meaning that, although it read "he" or "him," we understand it to mean a person of either sex.

Life was easy then.

Enter: the campaign of political correctness.

We can't say "fat" -- instead, "large-statured." We can't say "short" -- instead,"vertically-challenged." And now, the coup de grace, we can't say "he" or "him" unless we are in fact talking about someone with a Y-chromosome.

So we are left with a mouthful: "he or she," "s/he" (how is that even pronounced?)," "him or her."

Although I am female, I am not offended by the generic pronouns "he" or "him" (in fact, if you are someone who is offended by these terms, please e-mail me so I can be sure the English language is not being padded in vain).

What I am offended by is this measure which is complicating our language. The awkwardness created by "s/he"-ing and "him/her"-ing outweighs, in my opinion, any hard feelings on the part of the thin-skinned reader.

Alternating the male and female pronouns is one solution. For example:

On the first day of school, each student will report directly to his homeroom. If a student needs help with her locker, she may contact a janitor.

Still, this flip-flop route is jarring.

Another suggested route is alternative gender-neutral pronouns. These nifty words have been thought up for over a hundred years, long before the irritating PC movement. Take, for example, "thon" (a combination of "that" and "one"), which dates back to 1884.

On the first day of school, each student will report directly to thon's homeroom.

Click here for a detailed list of alternative epicine pronouns -- and a good laugh. Let's keep in mind that none of these stuck, and for good reason.

On the same note as "thon," we could always use "one,"

If one needs help with one's locker, one may contact a janitor.

but only at the risk of sounding like a pretentious member of some cork-sniffing, llama-breeding country club.

There's no perfect answer to this problem (the problem that was invented once some folks decided "he-understood" was just not fair), but the solution I prefer is using "they" as a singular pronoun:

On the first day of school, each student will report directly to their homeroom. If a student needs help with their locker, they may contact a janitor.

The copyright of the article Why Does S/he Get Offended When We Talk About Him/Her? in English Grammar is owned by Janet Kay Blaylock. Permission to republish Why Does S/he Get Offended When We Talk About Him/Her? in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.