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Long Distance Caregiving

© Marci Stocks

When we think of caregivers, the first thing that pops into our heads is that a loved one lives with a family member. However, there are many instances where caregivers live miles away, whether in another city, state, province, or country. They may not be considered a primary caregiver because primary caregivers generally provide round the clock care. Long distance caregivers help out their loved ones with financial planning, organizing in-home care, and offering helpful tips when needed.

A family member such as a parent may also live in a nursing facility in their home state, while their children live in another city or state. That child is often contacted by the facilities should a problem occur. In addition, a parent may live with one sibling, while the other sibling(s) lives some distance away. The key to quality care is to offer as much as possible. As long as the caregivers, whether long distance or not, is willing to help, then quality care is being given.

Long distance caregiving can be quite stressful as you are not there to observe your loved ones needs. That is why it is crucial for you to visit as much as possible and recognize any changes, big or small, that occurs with your loved one. This may be especially difficult if you are living in another state. Below, are some questions that you may want to ask yourself when you become a long distance caregiver:

1. Is your loved one willing to move to your city? If your loved one is willing to move, look into all the options, such as living with you, another family member, or a separate housing situation. Also, ask your loved one what he/she would like. Try to come up with a plan that is helpful to you both.

2. How independent is your loved one? If your loved one is still living out of reach from you, you may need to make some phone calls and arrange help when needed, such as bathing, feeding, and cleaning. However, if your loved one needs assistance with the activities of daily living, it may be that he/she needs more care than initially thought. When you visit, take notice in how well your loved one does things for himself.

3. Is anyone else caring for your loved one? Keep in contact with other family members or facilities concerning your loved one. Offer as much help as you can. It may just be writing more letters or making more phone calls to keep your loved one happy.

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