Caring for Parents

As caregivers, there may come a time when we encounter the most stressing aspect of caregiving: family members that are not assisting with the care of Mom or Dad. This can often be a problem when there are several siblings in the family. There are several ways to go about planning future care for Mom or Dad. As the main caregiver, we can automatically take on the primary caregiving role or we can sit down with the family and decide which caregiving aspect each sibling will take. Unfortunately, the latter does not always work out. You may be the only child or the other siblings may not want to contribute.

If you are not the only child, organize a meeting with your brothers and/or sisters concerning the care of your parent(s). During the meeting, discuss how much care your Mom and/or Dad will need. They may need financial assistance or they may need to move into a smaller home. The difficulty may arise when Mom or Dad needs 24-hour care, so they move in with one of their children. When this happens, it is important that the caregiver receives as much support from outside sources (i.e. other family members) as possible.

If your parent(s) is living with you, you may need help with finances, cleaning, visiting with Mom, and emotional support. The family should sit down and come up with a plan that will help the primary caregiver. I use the term primary because that is where the loved one's residence will be, not because the other siblings are not considered caregivers. Hopefully, the siblings will be more than willing to help out in any way that you need them. Unfortunately, this may not always be the case.

I have spoken with caregivers where their brothers or sisters would not help out with Mom or Dad. Some reasons were because they weren't fit financially, they didn't have time because they worked, or they didn't feel like they had to help out. Whatever the reason, try not to take it personally. However, do find out why they will not help and see if a compromise can be made. Remember, there are services that caregivers can receive for their loved ones. And, don't forget that it is important to take care of you.

Related articles that may be of help:

Stress Related:

Caregiver Stress Warning Signs
Caring for Yourself: Part 1
Caring for Yourself: Part 2

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