It is a good program, but I do not endorse, so, for now, the name is not important.
Anyway, this program makes it necessary to eat at specific times, so, therefore, I am now eating in front of my co-workers, when, before, I did not.
While waiting in line at McDonald’s I was thinking about this, and it lead me to an epiphany like no other. I started thinking about how, my whole life, I saw certain women eating whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, and remaining very thin.
You know what I mean, that tiny lady down the hall at work who always has a snickers bar on her desk, or who comes back from lunch with the really big honey bun and a diet coke. Well, maybe the secret is in the exposure.
As an overweight woman, I can tell you that nothing can be more frustrating than thinking that nothing you do will matter.
Anyway, back to the epiphany. As I was thinking of how ironic it was that I had to eat more, publicly, and how some thin women seem to do this naturally, I started thinking about why I don’t eat in public, anyway?
Well, as any overweight person can tell you that when you eat out you feel as if the entire restaurant full of people are watching you. Every bite, every gesture, every food choice. So, we eat very little to avoid this type of scrutiny. Isn’t it funny that the same people who feel the need to hide their eating are the ones who eat too much. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Maybe our own sense of guilt or shame drives us to “closet” eat, leading to unhealthy eating habits, and unhealthy lifestyles. Maybe the people who are eating in public aren’t able to eat anything they want and not gain weight, maybe they just eat when they are hungry, and take their own body and needs seriously, instead of treating their self second best.
Interesting thought, isn’t it? Those who take time out for themselves, and feel no sense of shame in their eating, are the ones who have the best luck controlling their eating and their impulses.
Maybe if those of us who are overweight and held down with food issues ate when we were hungry, and understood our own hunger, we would not have any food related problems. Maybe the key to acceptance of ourselves is acceptance of our needs as people, and addressing those needs without guilt or fear.
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