I'm starting my diet on Monday

What is it about the American Female that predisposes us to want complete and total control? We want to control our children, our homes, our husbands, our careers, our parents, our siblings, our bank accounts and our weight loss.

What if we run across a really good diet and / or fitness plan and are anxious to give it a go? Well, naturally, these things must be planned, ie. controlled. So, we plan it out to begin at the beginning of the week, for better control, which is why, over the course of our lives, we will make the following statement over 100 times: "I'm starting my diet on Monday".

Now there are variations. It might be "My new program starts Monday", or "I'm going to try out a new diet on Monday", or maybe even "Monday is D-day!". Yet, somehow, some way, this theory has not guaranteed most of us success. We have it planned, we have it controlled. So, what's the problem with starting our diets, on time, on schedule, as planned, on Monday?

Nothing.

That's exactly right, nothing. The problem is not with Monday at all. No matter what you might personally think about Monday mornings there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. The real problem is with Tuesday.

Now, before you Tuesday lovers start a counter demonstration, hear me out. I have nothing against Tuesday, per say. I mean, it is true that it is unoriginal, and uneventful. It's also true that it's not very exciting or ambitious. No lotto. No first day back to work. No double coupon day or half off day at the market. Not even a church day. So, there is already a reason to dislike Tuesday, per se, however, these are not my problem. Nope.

The problem with Tuesday is that it's long and difficult. Monday you start your program, and you are ready to go! The adrenaline, the goal and the moment are fresh and eager in your mind. Then, after a tough battle with food all day, you wake up on Tuesday morning and think, "Why am I doing this?".

It's true. You know it. I know it. Anyone who has ever been on a diet in their whole life knows it. Terrible Tuesday. The day of diet reckoning. The day you notice that everyone else eats exactly what they want while you eat cottage cheese and a one inch cube of cheese.

All the long day you wonder what made you want to go on a diet. It's hopeless, it's impossible and demeaning. Who likes reading three hundred labels in a busy grocery store with a two year old in your cart? And no caffeine?! What is up with that? Then, it happens. You notice that your favorite brand of Little Debbie snack cakes are on sale. The box calls to you, and you push bravely past. But you're angry. Oh, yes. Someone is going to get it tonight!

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