Some diets hurt more than others

Yesterday my relationship was shaken to it's very roots. In fact, we are still on shaky, uneven ground as I write this article. Did someone cheat? Was physical violence involved? Or, maybe, a divergent disagreement over financial or parental matters? No The source of this incredible pain, guilt, heartache, and heartbreak was a journal. A dieting journal, to be exact.

Over six years ago, during one of my frequent attempts to lose weight, I began a journal with which to vent my angry feelings. For me this was important, because I have always had problems with this emotion. While on this program, 22 days to be exact, I would write everyday about those things that most pissed me off. Most were trivial and minute. My anger lasting only moments, and then, after writing, relieved and released. However, one of the most frequent sources of my anger and feelings of ineptitude were my husband. So, in my journal, at least, I unleashed words and feelings that were dark and scary and intense.

Six years ago. I had forgotten the damn thing even existed.

Yesterday afternoon my husband found my journal and read some. He was furious and devastated, to name a few of the emotions. He was mostly hurt at some of my cruel and hateful remarks written in bright blue permanant ink.

Most of us overeaters are the way we are because we hold in a great deal of anger, frustration, pain, embarrassment, and fear. Writing the "diet" journal was good for me, but it was not good for my husband.

What I wish the therapist would have told me was that talking about my feelings were the best. Writing them down helped, momentarily, but the other person was still in the dark and without a clue as to the buidling anger or resentment. Then, like a ton of bricks the raw emotion was upon him, and he almost couldn't handle it.

My advice is to let those emotions out, slowly and carefully, so as not to hurt innocent bystanders. Pent up anger can easily become rage, and rage leads us to say (or write) things that we do not necessarily mean or believe.

Release the anger, and get emotionally healthy. Let others know how you feel without hurting them, the way I hurt my husband.

Good luck, I wish you the best on your journey of food, relationships, eating and health!

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