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Abuse and Eating Disorders - Page 2

© Christina Alwan

When people who have repressed or blocked out their memories for a long time actually start to regain some of those old memories back, they experience a wide range of emotions and responses to the abuse. Almost as if the abuse is being relived, which is why so many victims struggle with their eating disorders for such a long time, in order to not remember or feel the pain - some of them include, depression, flashbacks, uncontrollable crying, panic or anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, obsessive compulsive behaviors, guilt, shame, denial, anger and problems with their relationships.

As mentioned before, dealing with the memories of abuse can be as traumatizing as the abuse itself. The memories can be very overwhelming and make you feel as if you are going crazy or even want to die to kill off the pain. At this point many will isolate themselves in order to not talk about it. This is a crucial time, where if you are experiencing these feelings, you need to reach out for help. There are numerous options out there, many different people out there willing to help, especially if you have any thoughts of harming yourself or are suicidal. A trusted family member, close friend or neighbor, a priest/minister, anyone you trust - reach out. It is very scary to reach out when you are at a point like this, perhaps you feel as if no one understands what you are feeling, or you reached a point where you do not feel deserving or worthy of help. Well, you are worth help and you do deserve the attention of others. It is a difficult step to trust someone enough to open up about being abused; but it is very worth it in the end. There is nothing more courageous than coming forward and admitting it and asking for help. Perhaps you may feel weak or needy, when in reality - it shows your inner strength. Victims of abuse have reported feeling very much empowered by coming forward and admitting the abuse to someone - it gave them a true sense of control - the abuser no longer can win if you confide in someone. The secret is out, and you no longer have to be under the abusers power. It is better to have someone to talk to and help your through it, rather than having to experience the feelings, emotions and pain all alone. Having someone to turn to and support you will help you feel less alone and make the difficult times a little easier to get through. You can overcome this. Trusting someone is very scary especially after you have been violated, but it is worth it, you are worth it.

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