Fathers play a very important role in the development of their daughter. Having an "absent" or uninvolved father is one of many contributing factors that can trigger an eating disorder.
Father Hunger, a termed used by author Margo Maine, is defined as "a deep persistent desire for emotional connection with the father that is experienced by all children." (Maine, 3) However, in her book Father Hunger the main focus was regarding "this unfulfilled longing for father, which for girls and women, often translates into conflicts about food and weight." (Maine, 3)
Many people have a void inside them that is due to "father hunger," and this disguised hunger has had great impact on the way they live. Do any of these statements apply to you?
- When I think about my father I become emotional-insecure, sad, or angry.
- When I'm with my father I don't act like myself; I'm either childish or grandiose.
- I consider my father wonderful, but others think I'm fooling myself.
- I feel numb toward my father.
- I have trouble with competitiveness.
- My motivation is poor because I feel beaten down.
- I have difficulty establishing relationships.
- I move too quickly into new relationships.
- I'm confused about my identity-it's not as if my father ever made me feel good about myself.
- I don't feel like a real man.
- I lack confidence in my femininity.
- I feel unattractive.
- I feel incompetent.
- It is difficult for me to relax.
- I have problems with my sexuality.
- Being assertive is hard for me.
- People seem to feel that I violate their boundaries.
- I'm afraid to get too close to others.
- I fear being abandoned.
- Authority makes me uneasy.
- My father's criticism hurt me too much. Now I have difficulty accepting criticism.
- God often feels a million miles away.
- I have little interest in spirituality.
- When my father does not provide the emotional support my mother needs, my mother unknowingly tries to get me to provide that support.
- My father confides in me too much.
- My father and I do not talk openly and honestly about our lives.
- I keep trying to please everybody-especially father-types or mentors.
- I run to things and people to nurse myself in a compulsive way.
- I am rarely satisfied.
- I live with a vague, diffused fearfulness.
The copyright of the article Where Are You Daddy? in Eating Disorders is owned by . Permission to republish Where Are You Daddy? in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
| Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: | View all related messages |
For a complete listing of article comments, questions, and other discussions related to Christina Alwan's Eating Disorders topic, please visit the Discussions page.