QuickParty

Often, the onset of guests hits hard when there's no food to offer. And bachelors rarely do have anything stocked in the refrigerator. Of course, guests are always so courteous as to drop in just before meal-time so that you have to provide for them too!

This pisses people off and makes them decide not to bother anyways. But the guests tend to stay until past your meal-time if you try it, forcing you into starving your frail body to emaciation. It's best to do the following in such a situation.

Run down to your grocery store and pick up a quarter kilo per guest of minced meat (pork or chicken) and three large cabbages. You're going to whip up some fancy, homemade Oriental cuisine in minutes. Also, be sure to pick up lots of root beer or draft beer depending on the height of your guests (root for anything under 3.5 ft)! These tend to fill the stomach before you even start out!

Pork and Cabbage in Unidentified Sauce

Ingredients

500 gms. minced pork (chicken)
100 gms. butter
1 cabbage chopped coarsely

Seasoning

1 tbsp. salt
2 tbsp. pepper
1 tbsp. red chilli powder
2 caps soya sauce (not cups!)
2 tbsp. sugar
1/2 lemon
8-10 cloves of garlic crushed (in their jackets)

Method

In a wok, heat 3 tbsp. oil to a very high temp. Add in the meat. Add a pinch of salt and pepper. It will siizzle, crackle, sputter and lend out an amazinig aroma. Let the meat cook. Keep stir frying till it turns whitish in color. It will then start browning. When this happens, turn off tthe heat and let the meat sit in its own juices.

Next, heat the butter in a frying pan (very high flame). Make pointless conversation about the weather and the kids with your guest and mentally threaten to add them to the recipe while in actuality, you add the garlic to the butter. In a minute, stir in the cabbage and fry for awhile till the aroma causes your drool to seep into the food. If you shake the whole pan vigorously, the cabbage should light up in a flambe causing your guest to gawk in surprise and excitement.

Add in the seasoning; salt, pepper, chilli powder and sugar and continue to stir fry.

Now, add in the meat. While you cook the meat and cabbages, add in the lemon and the soya sauce. At this point (even though your guest does not deserve this) you may want to taste the food to check for anything that it needs (usually salt and soya sauce).

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