"Mommy, Mommy..."
You leave your child in her day care room. As you are walking away, you feel like you have just abandoned this helpless child. The screams are getting to you. "Mommy, Mommy, I want my Mommy!"
Your heart is breaking but your head tells you to get out of the hearing zone. How can I deal with my feelings of guilt? Am I a neglectful parent because I chose to leave my child in day care?
The guilt is overwhelming. How could I leave my child in such a state of panic. Am I leaving my child in the right environment? How long does it take for children to adjust to a new day care? Should I remove my child out of the day care?
There are some things to look at when you place your child at a new day care. Your feelings, the day care, the educator and your child are all factors to take into account..
First you must deal with your feelings of guilt. Who wouldn't rather stay at home and be with their children all day long? But we are in the 90's, and both parents are probably in the work force. When you start feeling guilty about leaving your child behind, let your head guide you. Financial and daily obligations are a reality. Don't listen to your heart or you'll tear yourself up.
Another concern is, where are you leaving your child? Had you carefully checked out the day care before hand? Follow your instincts. Show up at the day care unannounced when your child isn't expecting you. See for yourself what's going on. Be sneaky. Don't show yourself but be close enough to hear what's going on. This will reassure you that your child is doing fine when you're not there. You can then leave feeling more secure. Everything you hear and see is fine, you can leave. Don't let your child see you if you have no intention of taking her away with you. You'll get her upset again.
You can also talk to other parents at arrival and departure times. You might find out that your case isn't so unique. See how other children are reacting. Do they seem to be fitting in? Children often don't react the same way in the presence of their parents.
If your child stills seems upset, look at your child's educator. Take a few minutes and get to know her. It's time well spent. Ask your child's educator important questions like does she have proper qualifications? Does she have her first-aid course? Does she have children of her own? Observe if she really enjoys children and if the children enjoy being around her. Are there scheduled daily activities, signs of animation in the classroom, lots of toys?
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