Please! Please! Please!
It's Thanksgiving Day! Your turkey is in the oven and your guests will be arriving soon. You're just a little nervous about what impressions your child will leave on your guests. Will your child say please and thank you? Will napkins be used rather than shirtsleeves? Will you be put in an embarrassing situation …in many embarrassing situations? Maybe you should warn your child?
That would be a great start to talk to your child but at this point in time, it just might be a little too late. Too late for your dinner but not too late for life; it would have been a good idea to discuss manners earlier in your child's lives.
What exactly are manners? If you sat down and asked your child about the meaning of manners; you probably wouldn't understand their explanation. Manners is a big concept for preschoolers to understand. They'll understand smaller fragments such as the positive response they'll get from saying please and thank you. When asked here are some answers from preschool children:
"Uh..ask my mommy -- she will tell you," says 3 year old Laurie.
"Manners…means.... the magic words," says 4 year old Alexandra. "My mom always says 'what's the magic word'."
"…is not to burp when I eat," says 5 year old Emilien.
Even as children are going from the preschool stage into the school age stage, it's not an overnight discovery to know and understand what manners are.
"To be good and nice and eat well," says 6 year old Michael. This answer came after two shoulder shrugs.
7 year-old Alex first answer was: "I don't know." He then thought about it for a few minutes and came back giving many examples but the definition of manners still was not be clear.
The definition of manners is to act in a sociable and acceptable behavior. It's not just about saying 'please and thank you'. It's a whole way of conduct. You can't expect your child to know and behave in a proper manner at all times. Otherwise out children would be perfect!
It might be a good idea to start with you and your spouse discussing what manners you want instill in your child. Both of you were brought up differently; what may seem really essential to one might be frivolous to the other. During your discussions comes to terms with which ones you both agree with and compromise on those you don't. The next step is to discuss your expectations with your child.
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