My Grandma Has Alzheimer's

"Ask your child, 'How did you feel when you lost your teddy bear?'" says Dobbs. "'You were sad and confused. Grandma is also sad and confused. Let's help her and be there for her when she forgets things.'" This will show your child to be tolerant and respectful toward people who are ill. Compassion isn't a feeling you're born with; you must develop it. This is a good opportunity for your little one to experience a little compassion and develop empathy.

"Michael tells me that great-grandma forgets that she's already given him a bowl of ice cream, and gets him another one," says Lynn. "He says he has to eat it so he doesn't hurt her feelings."

Visiting the Grandparent

"If your child has a close relationship with the grandparent and the condition of the elderly family member hasn't moved into a stage that is violent, it's important to include your children in your family activities and visits," says Dobbs. Set the visits at regular intervals when going with the children. Don't overload your child or the grandparent. For the health of the family, it's important for both to be involved together right from day one. Limit your time for each visit; grandparents get tired much quicker than preschoolers. Your family will be able to grow into this situation, since it's a relatively lengthy illness. As your child gets older, the comprehension level will increase. As grandma or grandpa gets weaker and more and more forgetful, you should explain more to your child or make the visits together less often. The welfare of the patient must be put first. When you have younger children, they might not realize what's happening in their family. Visiting a sick grandparent can be exciting. New halls to run down and new adults to tell you what to do, or at least try.

"If your child runs around the room, makes a lot of noise and is disruptive, they aren't paying attention to grandma anyway and that sometimes gets certain patients overexcited," says Dobbs.

Children visiting their grandparents also can do lots of good to the ill grandparent."One family I worked with visited grandma with their baby," says Dobbs. "Grandma would light up. A visit from the children at first can give the elderly person quality to their life. The doctor can also be valuable tool in determining when grandma shouldn't be around the little ones anymore."

If you

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