A preschooler won't need much more information -- for the moment. They might ask you the same question over and over again but most likely they'll be trying to figure out why grandma is forgetting or why she is acting "like that." As your child gets older, prepare yourself to answer many more questions. This will be a difficult time for you and your child. Depending on how close the relationship between child and grandparent is, the child may feel saddened and feel a tinge of loss seeing grandma or grandpa ill.
Get Children Involved
Get your child to participate in the care giving. By doing even the smallest chores, a child will feel like they are helping. Getting grandma a glass of water, setting the table, telling grandma a story or singing a song to grandpa are all small things that will help both the child and the grandparent in a big way.
"Michael likes to get the Ovaltine out of the cabinet for her when he wants some chocolate milk," says Lynn. "She always forgets if she has any, or where she keeps it, so this is his 'job' each time we visit. It's small, but you should see the look in his eyes when he hands it to her. He's so proud."
Be Honest
Be honest with your child; it can get worse if you lie about what the grandparent is going through. It's fine to tell them that the brain isn't functioning properly and that's why grandma or grandpa forgets. They don't require medical terms, statistics or treatments and procedures. Keep your answers short and simple.
"I believe that children feel lost if you hide the truth," says Dobbs. "The absence of the grandparent (or seeing them less often) leaves an empty place. If this is addressed head-on, the child can come to realize to the best of their ability what is happening to the family member and adjust. Just like any other any illness, it needs to be brought out into the open and talked about."
Give them concrete examples about what it is they might forget. Tell them, "Grandma might forget to wash her face or hands or she might forget to turn out the lights. Grandpa might forget what he was talking about. He might forget what day it is or he might forget to put on a coat before going outdoors." Giving daily examples will help your child understand more and relate this to a recent experience.
