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Children and Death -Sites for Educators and Parents

© Marie-Helen Goyetche

How, as an educator - do you deal with a child in your group who's facing the loss of a loved one at home?

There's no easy answer to this question, nor can it be answered in five simple steps.

As with adults children will need time to grieve, to heal and to remember. One tip is to follow the child's lead. If the child is sad, share that sadness. Let the child express sadness, anger and confusion in an appropriate manner. Children will often deal with their emotions during manipulative play. Water play, playdough, sand play, painting, coloring are all useful media The child can manipulate and let out emotion in an appropriate manner.

Spend extra time with the grieving child. Let the child cry if need be, and talk as well. Many times a comforting ear can help tremendously. Children will also need to be reassured that they will not die soon. Reassure the child and keep in touch with the family. Be honest in your answers and don't give far-fetched stories. Respect the different traditions and cultures, the death might not be handled in the same way as you. The parents will surely fill you in on their beliefs. Be truthful and Most importantly -- be there.

Here are some sites I recommend to help when dealing with death and children:

http://www.acor.org/facing-ahead.html I belong to this list and I believe, if parents can understand and deal with their loss, children will have a good role model to look up to. This is a list-serve where you belong exclusively to this list. Facing Ahead is for anyone who has lost or is about to lose a loved one.

http://www.hillfuneral.com The Hill Funeral Home in Ohio has a web site of course to advertise for their funeral home but they have different sections about the funeral part that are informative. I especially like the 'Discussing Death with Children' section.

http://www.death-dying.com/new.html Death and Dying -where life surrounds death. This site has message boards for children, teens and parents. There' a section on the history of death and they have newsletters available for widows and widowers.

http://www.aplb.com The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement. Children who loose their pets are as devastated as adults, sometimes more as they cannot understand their feeling nor exactly what is happening. Dealing with this death can help a child handle death of an adult better if the process.

http://www.petsinneed.org/Library/Cry.ht... Of Course You Can Cry, the site of the Humane Society can give you answers to questions you might be facing.