The Solution to Pyr Holes in the Yard

My Rescues were creative. One would work gradually, over the long months, at hollowing out an impressive den. The hole above ground didn't even appear large enough to allow him to squeeze through, and because it opened to the backside of the fence it went unnoticed, but it was discovered when he suddenly developed the seemingly magic ability to appear and disappear at will. Another Rescue would dig straight down, a sort of manic accompaniment to the cacophony of power tools coming from inside.

Pyrs dig--and by the time the repairs to my home were completed, my back yard looked more like an artillery practice field then a lawn.

There is an oddness about Pyr holes I feel I should bring up. Apparently Pyrs possess an uncanny ability to tap into other dimensions. No matter how vigilant you are about raking the soil back into its original place, there is never enough soil to refill the holes. NEVER! You purchase a bag of top soil and it too disappears. Somewhere there is a dimension filled with soil, a world made up entirely of soil that has sifted from our yards, with the help of the Pyr, to this unseen dimension.

Finally, I can report with confidence, that I have found the solution! It was so obvious, faultless in its simplicitity, a masterpiece of unparrelled reasoning! I purchased a truckload of soil!

Yes, it's true. My first thought was to fill all the holes, and to have a ready supply of soil to replace the stuff drifting through the dimensional rift my Pyrs create--but 18 yards, (a measurement only landscapers understand), is a lot of dirt! Glorious inspiration!

I had a third of the load dumped in the center of my yard! THE SOLUTION! My Pyrs are playing king of the hill! They are joyfully digging in their very own mound! They love it!! It is dirt, it is fun, it is THEIRS!

I wonder how long it'll take my Rescues to send THIS to that dimension? I'm willing to do my part. I think I may just have to purchase a small truckload of topsoil every few months!

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