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Sharing Responsibility

© Annelies Mouring

Many times these articles are about responsibility. The subjects never stray far from the huge responsibility of child raising. Part of being a divorced parent, the court forces that parent to share the child raising responsibility. However, many times the responsibility is left to one parent and that unlike in a two parent home, the child raising is left to be done alone. So often do these articles focus on how to make this a two parent responsibility rather than a one parent thing.

Get organized It is so important to track the children’s contact and visitation with the other parent. Keeping a running record of visits, times that you sent out copies of report cards, invitations to school plays and school meetings will be very beneficial to you should a situation arise that you need this information. Make sure that any information that you track can be printed or saved in a format that can be accessed later. www.palm.com, www.handspring.com, and www.trg.com make a few products that you can buy that do this. There are many other electric organizers that also do this. If you can’t do that, use a file folder and a calendar. Make them on the computer. JUST WRITE IT DOWN. Pre-arrange Make pre-arrangements in case of an emergency for expenses and procedure. If you decide who will pay for the costs of insurance, co pays, and other medical expenses before the emergency, then after the emergency will be less troublematic. It will be better for both parents if both know the stakes up front.

Delegate Remember where the children are concerned, they are yours and the other parent’s responsibility. Don’t take it all into your own hands. Delegate, and learn to let go a little. Even if the other parent refuses to help. Keep trying – and record each try.

Avoid being controlled Many marriages or relationships have a control factor. When the control is no longer present, or fails to work on the other party, the marriage begins to break down. After the divorce, the controlling party still tries to exercise control over the other. However, this can lead to as many fights as it caused during the marriage. Legally, there are few "court" actions that can be taken. However, seeking professional counseling can help. Even if one party refuses counseling, the other can go to help them deal with the control or how to avoid being controlled.

Avoid negativity -Don’t scare the child or say negative things.

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