Modification (part 5) What you can expect emotionally in a modif

This will be a discussion of the expectations of a modification. Specifically, what you can expect emotionally and substantively. Refer to other articles in this series for other matters of a modification. Although it is my intention is to make it general it will be focused on FL law when necessary, since that is where my expertise lies. It will go into several steps and the standards required by the FL court and generally for other states. Remember that this is not to substitute as legal advice but should only be a guide to the legal process. Should you have specific questions or want to know what applies to you, contact a legal professional in your area that is familiar with your jurisdiction.

Modification is a court action where you want to change an existing family court order due to some change since the court originally entered the custody order, divorce decree or final judgment in your divorce or custody. Most states require that in order to modify the original final judgment that there be a "significant" change since the entry of the final judgment.

Since modification is almost like getting divorced again, there are a lot of emotional issues tied to modification. A few things might change or send you through an emotional roller-coaster, for example:

· Many states require that you go to a several hearings or court appearances much like they require in a divorce proceeding. This can be nerve racking in itself. This will require that you take time off from work, or find child care.

· There might be a multitude of emotions that you have not felt in many years and some of the old drudgery that was issues at the time of the divorce could be re-hashed. This could and will play havoc with your emotions, your stress level and your live, effecting both yours and the children's schedule.

· Visitation could change, the visitation that was once almost non-existent might be "by the court order."

· You could be blamed for causing trouble by asking for more money, time or whatever the demand.

And for those out there that oppose a modification - just remember that you get a cost of living increase every year - why can't your children. In the end it's they who benefit not your ex-spouse!

What ever the emotion, don't give up. Remember, that many of you made it through this once before during the divorce and that once again that these old feelings will pass. In the end, it can be worth the extra money to put your children in a better school, pay for those dance lessons, or maybe just make it so that mortgage payment is not a scrape every month. I guess that is why we need the old saying "No pain, no gain." Good luck - I know that you can do it!

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