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Harassment vs. Teasing in our Schools

© Melissa Sztuczko-Payk

One day a couple of weeks ago, I tuned into a talk show on WSGW, a major mid-Michigan all-news radio station. At least an hour of that day's show was based on the current legal battle being brought by parents of a young girl who states she was the victim of sexual harassment as a fifth grade student.

Now, what is unclear from the reports I've read and heard is the specific acts which were allegedly done by the male student, as well as the specific actions which were taken by the school.

Among the comments I heard on this particular talk show were (all paraphrased):

• A 10-year-old is too young to sexually harass someone
• The girl's parents should have better prepared her to endure typical childhood teasing
• The female student and her parents were reasonable to expect the school to protect her
• Schools already bear too much responsibility for child-rearing, and it's time to put a stop to blaming schools

Of course, since this case is pending and guilt or lack thereof has not been establish, I would be wrong to criticize either party in this issue. Instead, I will approach this as a "what if" situation. I'll call the students Joey and Susie.

If Joey did indeed tease Susie to the point that it interfered with her learning, and if the school was aware of the teasing and failed to stop it, in my unsolicited and uneducated opinion, that school failed Susie.

I believe that it is extremely naive to believe that fifth grade students are incapable of "true" sexual harassment. I can recall a neighborhood boy who walked past my home, unaware I was on the porch, who was laughing and saying a female classmate wanted him to "f" her (he used the entire word). Although this matters not, I might also add that this was in a desirable, middle class neighborhood.

I believe adults make a huge mistake when we compare the children of today with the peergroup of our youth. Research shows that the average age of reaching puberty nowadays is 12--the age of most six or seventh graders. Although not common, a girl who begins menstruating at the age of 8 years old is considered "normal" today.

As a parent, I obviously must prepare my children to handle ordinary, everyday teasing. But when that teasing crosses the line, when it involves sex or sexual behavior, it is never acceptable. I would be neglectful to tell my daughter, or my son, to simply deal with it.

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