Striving to be Normal: The Endless Journey, Part III

It is the fall of 1955, and Bruce has been allowed to return to the third grade. Not unto the third grade did he realize that he had deficits that he previously had not had. He soon found them out because most involved memory problems. These deficiencies became evident when he discovered that many once simple tasks now proved almost impossible for him to comprehend much less do. If he had not had this burning desire to regain the status of normal then he would most probably have quit. He persevered and is still persevering 46 years later. Quitting was never in his vocabulary, or he would have quit trying long ago.

From the moment he regained consciousness, Bruce knew that he wasn't the same as he had once been. Not only was he on medication but his left hand - his writing hand - now shook uncontrollably. He also discovered that simple tasks were now hard or impossible for him to understand. Later in life he would learn the reason. Traumatic Brain Injury, or TBI, had short-circuited his recall memory.

Without knowing what he was doing, Bruce began to rely upon long-term memory. This caused problems and still does because to use long term memory means that you have to load all information at once. If any piece of information is missing then the task becomes undoable. Only when this missing information is loaded can one do the task. This all or nothing sequence may make others form the wrong perception about you. They may believe that you possess plenty of book learning but that you possessed no common sence.

Memory problems were just the first things to show Bruce that he was, in fact, different. He soon found that his once close friends were avoiding him like the plague and he discovered that these same friends were now ridiculing him and making him the brunt of malicious jokes.

If this was not enough to indicate his difference, Bruce discovered that even teachers were now treating him differently than they did his peers. If any of his critically normal peers needed help, they would receive it personally. If Bruce needed help he did not receive the same type of attention. If questions were asked in class he was seldom given an opportunity to answer. The times he did answer were usually turned into ridicule especially if he answered incorrectly. Because of this he learned to open his mouth only if he knew for sure that he was correct. This caused him to be viewed as being outspoken and boisterous for he began to argue point into the ground.

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