Striving to be Normal: Part II

How can any story begin without a birthday? Let’s digress to my chronological birthday or to January 17,1947. For my parents, this was a happy occasion. Little did they know that in eight years our lives would be inexorably changed by a catastrophic event. The event was Traumatic Brain Injury. I was struck by an eighteen-wheel truck and knocked unconscious for nine weeks. You might say that the old me died that day and a new me was born; therefore, you might call January 10, 1955 my rebirth day.

From the moment I regained consciousness, I knew that something was different but I wasn’t sure what it was. I knew that my left side now shook uncontrollably; that I was now on medication; and that many tasks that once came easily were now hard or impossible for me to comprehend. Much later I learned the reason: my compressed head fracture had short circuited my short-term memory so that it didn’t work properly. I had to learn how to compensate for this deficit. Somehow I learned how to transfer learning directly into my long-term memory. My compensation meant that I would have to rely almost exclusively upon my long-term memory.

Having to rely upon long-term memory presents one with a new set of obstacles to overcome. To use one's long-term memory, as I learned to do, requires immediate transference of information. If only parts are transferred then that task is not comprehensible until all the parts are transferred. For some tasks this process will be easy but for others it may take years. Tasks that only transfer partially will cause substantial problems and these will usually manifest themselves either in the job search or in job performance.

Besides memory, another indication of my difference came from those who were once friends. Some completely avoided me while others chose to ridicule me or to make me the brunt of malicious jokes. I also discovered that teachers were now treating me differently. If I needed help then most likely I would not receive it while others would. In class I was seldom given an opportunity to answer. When I did answer and it was wrong, then my answer was turned into ridicule. I, therefore, learned to open his mouth only if I knew that I was correct. This self defense mechanism caused problems because it made others believe that I was outspoken, boisterous and that my point of view was the only one that counted. It also caused others to believe that I was argumentative by nature.

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