It's surprising how many times I've run into disabled persons who have run into problems with their friends, family and support systems once they have made the decision to incorporate parenthood into their plans. Abled person's tend to show concern that we may not be able to meet the needs of any possible children. They fail to respect the fact that we don't tend to make this decision lightly. It's not like we wake up one day and decide to have children. Usually it's entered into with great thought and discussion with our significant other, and sometimes with consultation with our doctors.
Even finding a doctor that will support a disabled person's decision to have a child can be a major challenge. In some cases this might be a realistic response, due to genetically inherited medical conditions, although sometimes doctors overstep their boundaries and allow their own personal views to cloud the issue.
Sure we may not be able to throw a ball for Billy so he can improve his Little League skills, or make doll clothes for Sally, but does that make us less of a parent? These skills are not the only things that make a person a good parent. In this day and age of two-income families, our children in a lot of cases have the benefit of having a stay-at-home parent which in itself is a reward for our children.
So if you are thinking of venturing into the world of parenthood I would recommend visiting Trish and John's Resources for Parents with Disabilities. This site is a celebration of disabled parenthood to help those just thinking of parenthood or those already enjoying the benefits. It is an extensive site with links, suggested reading material, resource sources, mailing lists and a chatroom where you can explore all aspects of disabled parenting. Trish and John have developed an extensive site that will take more than a couple of visits to explore. Even if you are now developing the role of "grandparent" I think they will have more than a few tips for you.
Love and understanding can move mountains! With careful planning and support we can be excellent parents...given the chance!
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