Realistic Expectations & December Celebrations

A couple of more years pass, Dad spends his Christmas in Phoenix, Mom lives 300 miles away and brother also lives out of town. New traditions need to be created. This festive season my hubby and I will have a quiet Christmas. Most likely Christmas Eve will be spent either curled up on the couch with lots of pillows and blankets, the tree lit up and the movie "White Christmas" playing on the TV. Christmas Day will be a candlelit turkey dinner for two, and old-fashioned Christmas music on the stereo. After-dinner will include some long-distance phone calls to those out-of-town relatives and maybe some more "Christmas" videos. Boxing Day will probably be observed visiting friends with open houses.

All of these Christmases have had or will have their special moments. Some of them had a lot of hustle and bustle, but as I grow older and my disabilities impart their own special needs, I find that my expectations grow simpler. This doesn't necessarily mean that my excitement or enjoyment of the holiday is curtailed. It just means that I concentrate on what I feel are the "best moments" of the holidays and focus on the ones that are important to me. I have friends and family who continue to host Martha Stewart-type holidays and if I feel the need for excitement during the season, I know I am welcome in their homes to experience it. But since that type of a holiday would spell disaster for me to possibly accomplish I don't set myself up for disappointment by attempting it. Over the years I have learned my limitations. The holidays are what you make of it. It is important to hold dear what is important to you, not what is important of others - unless of course you wish to celebrate the holidays in that fashion. Give yourself permission to downsize your celebrations and really enjoy the holidays. Traditions are not engraved in stone. Who knows? You may be able to develop new traditions that you will enjoy more than the old ones, but you'll never know if you don't try.

Suite 101 Disability Mailing List

For those of you who need a gentle reminder when a new article is posted, or would like to be notified when a new link is put up, I have developed a notification e-mail list which would have you receiving three to four more e-mails a

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